I get lost in the beauty of everything I see, the world ain't half as bad as they paint it to be
XOXO 6:57 PM
so last night i called Jin and we spoke after a long time.... and we took time to reflect about 2010 from Jan all the way to December.. yeah we digressed and we recalled and reflected and some events took just a little bit more courage to mention and some made us hurt and feel and think all over again but for me i'm glad to say that i don't regret 2010- as much as it was kinda crazy. i know i learnt and have grown from everything that has happened (good or bad). God kinda had everything in control.
so its the last post of this year... next year seems just so so so uncertain. scary. im afraid.. a little. but i know my God will pave the way and shine the light.
yay bye 2010 haha.
XOXO 6:21 PM
cause when you're 15 (or 17) and somebody tells you they love you... you're gonna believe it.
ps forgive me for spamming today's posts with ma face.
XOXO 1:44 AM
have been lying, lazing and lounging around in bed and in the house in my PJs alot recently.
but you know what it saves a hell loada cash wheehee.
XOXO 12:24 AM
DADDDDYY. though i look like a lump of fat here but still <3 heehee
XOXO 12:21 AM
Thursday, December 30, 2010
floyd says: i show you smth
floyd says: yalam what is that to you
melomoto says: wut?
floyd says: yalam you damn noob its malay spelled backwards cool not
shoots i love this song!! *dancedance shuffle moonwalk shimmyshimmyturnturn*
XOXO 9:15 PM
yuck. school is so boring. can't believe school is reopening in countable days GROSS!!
ugh. :/ if only i had 4e2 haha.
wanted to do functions/HCI today but seriously cant be bothered..... and i got 3 geog essays haha whooopdeedoo.
i hate how fast the near year is coming.. A levels :| -> tripledecked EW with chocolate shavings and a cherry on top.
its new year's eve tomorrow, not exactly hyped up. i think. haha.
some stuff from 2010 that i haven't really left behind :/ so...
wo bu zhi daos.
XOXO 8:55 PM
shuangs shared this on fb and i liked it
XOXO 6:43 PM
i love lyrics because they're not just words...
they're words with so much emotion, heart, thought and there always is a story behind..
and i was just thinking about something. and i realised. how God has been faithfully revealing and showing me things that i know won't do. for me. (you might not understand this) when i think about it and be nostalgic. all the time God shows me the light. shows me the way. shows me the situation. the person. the things.. and it helps. alot. its crazy sometimes, how God is SO FAITHFUL in my life and to me.. how He bothers to know, pacify, assure and address every whimsical thought and worry and insecurity and concern and things that important to me. everytime. only because He loves me too much to leave me there thinking (when i think, i think for a long time) and still having no answer or conclusion or any sort of an epiphany about something. He is the one who usually comes with the light. and i'm thankful.. cuz i never want to be in the darkness, not knowing where i'm heading and all that.
:)
XOXO 2:24 AM
one of the best songs.
sigh.
am sighing alot tonight.
XOXO 2:16 AM
its crazy cuz i realised how i used to be just like you. >.<
and i smell of korean bbq.
and i'm a little tired, but all i wanna do is stay up and think through the night.
went ice skating with some A4 kiddies today it was alright. attempted to study @ starbucks KLP but webcamming with geor was way too fun and then calvin called haha.
Asap and esmond came after a bit and then we headed to dinner at katong. damn full. paid $34 for dinner :( so broke and so sad to part with my money.
but anyway it was good company. went to PP wanted to play pool but it was so crowded. so we just walked to ECP and walked along ECP.... i love east coast. other that ~memories~, its a great place esp at night and with good company.. talking and singing. damn nice. wish we cld have stayed longer but asapleh had to fetch his godmom from the airport so we tagged along. after awhile esmond and i headed home on 53 and thanks fo taking the trouble to send me home tho u had a direct 30min bus man! appreciate it :)
apparently there's lunch tmr with v g j but i don't quite know the details. also, i'm quite broke so haha. wellz. and there's a sleepover happening at ray's after the countdown on the 31st..
truth be told i am dreading 2011 like. hell. other than syf... and choir chalet. really i am dreading 2011 and whatever its gonna bring. i knoow its not gonna be easy. but wells. who said it was ever easy. right haha.
:( sigh in a very reflective mood tonight after ECP.
XOXO 1:50 AM
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
How could I see you when I was so blind How could I grasp you when I was far behind How could I hear you when I was so deaf How could I get up when I had been left
But You said, "don't worry" For I've healed the blind man And I've set the captives free And You said, "don't worry" For all you've gotta do Is put your trust in Me
How could I be clean when I was so dirty How could I be made whole when I was torn apart Make me whole, make me whole Make me whole again
Katy Hudson(Perry)- Trust in Me
XOXO 4:49 AM
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
I'd go back to November all the time...
XOXO 10:41 PM
after dinner @ sushitei with 4e2, chlo and i had to go shopping >.<>.<
and i spent money again!!
im not going into any shop alrd.
talk about guilt.. think i already used up all my caroling money HAHA.
hope i earn at the flea?
gotta finish up maclaurins and HCI now
staying over at nai's tonight.
ice skating with some A4 people tmr yay :)
ok byebye
XOXO 6:09 PM
Monday, December 27, 2010
woke up at 1. feels :)
gonna be meeting 4e2 later :)
spent money again yesterday!!!! aggh. i bought the dress (only it was on sale @ 85 :D), sandals, paez shoes, headband, yeah and one longsleeve cuz i wanted to change out of my tank.
okay no more shopping tan hui chi.
haven't caught up with this dood for ages, AS WELL AS THE CUISTERS OMGGGGG MISS YOU GUYS YOU KNOWSIES
hehehheehe. lunch now, beybey
XOXO 1:37 PM
Sunday, December 26, 2010
almost the best duet i've ever heard omg omg the LYRICS. just listen. i don't know how people write such beautiful lyrics. and the piano at the beginning... and THE HARMONIES.
and this cover is sick. damn good the girl's voice and voice control and everything!!!
XOXO 4:18 AM
(sparkling water!)
my christmas eve was really awesome.
so in the morning i was 4 minutes late for prac (woohoo!) and then while waiting for yeemun to arrive, the rest of us had a picnic in the choir room (sweets, wafers, chocolate cake, etc) not a good idea when you're gonna carol the whole night.
but anyway hehe it was a good morning :) after prac i went homee to sleep! woke up and met dad for lunchie. went to his new house!! its really nice!!! :) after that met the rest at dhoby. OMG BUMPED INTO CHLOE best thing ever :):) miss her like siaooOOooOoOOoOoO.
then thank God we arrived @ the bar on time!! changed, put on some make up, hung around and did some last minute stuff then we started our first carol session at 715.
caroling's okay la. i guess. hehe. good experience. but thank God its with fun people! :) we got extra pay + very generous tips, so :):):):):) hehehe
then, headed to godma's and ate dinner! and caroled for them. hehe. then at 12 we all made a toast to christmas the birth of Christ, and for 2011, and we went around clinking our glasses :) played some game forawhile haha my godmom and her frns so cutez.
basically it was a good eve :) cuz i spent it with people i love!
christmas was okay except i woke up at 5pm and half of christmas gone alr. lol yeahyeah freds came over and hung for awhile then we had a late dindin at swensens. then i met glen for dessert. yuppers/
gonna shwer and sleep, its 240am and jams is at 9 tmr.
night yall, merry merry merry christmas.
XOXO 2:28 AM
Friday, December 24, 2010
updated christmas list lol.
1)plain black backpack 2)phone cover from accessorize 3)119dress 4)sandals 5)a polaroid 6)dresses shorts tops
okay i'm gonna go to bed early because whoever's late for prac tmr gotta pay the earliest person a dollar per 2 mins late!! and prac is at 9.
so okay goodnight bye too broke to spend on prac fund pls.
XOXO 2:45 AM
tomorrow will be a better day
my favourite song ever. theres just something about this song..
i always thought avril and evan taubenfeld were so cute together. and when i was younger my dream was to sing like avril and have a band and do badass things and sing in the subway. sigh.
amist the very sian night there were 3 things that made me :) anyway..
1)talking to glen because he felt damn sian and lonely too (thank you for talking to me) 2)the man selling duck rice looked like he knew i was going through a shit night and he gave ne a super warm smile and it made me less sian :) (smiles do work!) 3)a hot shower
things are never as bad as they seem :) i guess. except homework. yuck i hate saying the word.
meeting daddy for lunch tmr :):):)
XOXO 1:05 AM
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
just some of my favourite photos from G's party!
XOXO 5:14 AM
love this girl infinitely, we had a bit of a htht last night <3
meeting up with pi and don tmr for some shopping yo!!!!!!! haven't hung with don for awhile.
XOXO 4:17 AM
a kiss goodnight to all my very awesome friends!! i won't ever wanna lose yall! NIGHTY:)
XOXO 4:14 AM
01. Who was your last text from? Heyong
02. Where was your default picture taken? on fb? it's at ichiban @ PS
03. Your relationship status? singlez pringlez unavailablez hahaha
04. Have you ever lost a close friend? HELLO YES and i'm so sad about all these friends
05. What is your current mood? its 345am and i havent showered and havent done anything productive after turning on the com when i got home. go figure
06. How many siblings do you have? 0
07. Whats your brother(s)/sister(s) names? nobodehh
08. Where do you wish you were right now? not in singapore. OMG I WANNA SPEND CHRISTMAS IN OLOMOUC
09. Have a crazy side? totally, but it hasn't reared its ugly head for a long time now how sad
10. Ever had a near death experience? yes 2.
11. Something you do a lot? sing, overeat
12. Angry at anyone? nah... though someone is at me
13. What's stopping you from going for the person you like? i think my heart is happy and peaceful and safe for now (don't like anyone)
14. When was the last time you cried? in camp
15. Is there anyone you would do anything for? sure!
16. What do you think about when you are falling asleep? don't care if i'm in a lecture/standing up/in class/not supposed to sleep I'M GONNA SLEEP 321 byebye
17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? asaph.
18. What is your favorite song? not now
19. What are you doing right now? feeling the folds of fat on my tummy and feeling damn grossed out by myself wtheck
20. Who do you trust right now? i trust alot of people, i think i'm really blessed with very very true friends
21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? in malaysia i think
22. Have you kissed someone in the past week? no
23. Who is your friend that lives closest to you? min lives 3 bus stops away!
24. Describe your life in one word. december was dramatic. crazily melodramatic.
25. Who are you thinking of right now? there is this someone i have been thinking of too frequently than i should for the past month, but there isn't a point because i know that its totally not worth my brain space. i'm really over it ^^ (no as in really!)
26. What should you be doing right now? showering and doing tawg and going to bed like a normal person.
27. What are you listening to? the night
28. Who was the last person who gave you a hug? Heyong in the train
29. Who was the last person who yelled at you? i think someone yelled at me on MSN cuz he was so pissed at me (i think he was yelling.)
30. Do you act differently around the person you like? my friends say im damn shy
31. What is your natural hair colour? black and occasionally dark brown in the sun
32. Who was the last person to make you laugh? piwei or heyong
33. Who was the last person to make you sad? a boiz but we all grow stronger after these things :)
34. What do you hear? the thoughts in my head.
35. Is your hair curly or straight? straight ish
36. Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before? no, yuck.
37. Do you have a best friend? yerr
38. Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days? no
39. Do you use smiley faces on the computer? yes!
40. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? i dont remember, probably so
41. Are you happy with life right now? its okay i guess.. school is starting. dont know how to feel about that
42. Are you currently jealous? nah
43. What jewelry are you currently wearing? earstuds, necklace
44. What were you doing on friday night? i forgot! what did i do? OH i was home the entire day, no wonder i forgot
45. Have you ever had your heart broken? think so.. yep it sucks!!
46. Have you ever broken someone's? maybe i did? maybe not. but i reallly don't want to cuz i'd know that it sucks!
47. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now? yeah, sadly
48. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for? for a jap for protection against cervical cancer lol
49. How late did you stay up last night and why? 4+ because i felt like it
50. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? hahano not yet
A QUESTIONAIRE CUZ IM BORED
XOXO 3:45 AM
been reading some of my notes on my FB........
and realised that ive lost quite a few people :( or drifted so far away..
kinda sad. like andy lin he chi!! and james..... and blahblahblah
sad.
im hungry too.
XOXO 3:37 AM
never been so fat in my entire life!!!!!!
XOXO 3:04 AM
my christmas list!!
-WEIGHING SCALE -coloured jeans from bershka -pretty sandals!! -more flower hairpins -dresses!! -flats -a polaroid -a yoguru dispenser machine at home LOL kidding -more shorts -more cool tops OMG TIE DYE SHIRTS! -fairy lights for my room!! -new brain cells to survive j2
what i need to buy tmr: -gloves from daiso -pretty paper for my tumbler -christmas presents omg. -yoguru.
HAD A CRAZY GOOD TIME W HEYONG SHOPPING AT TOWN TODAY. so long since i last went shopping properly! feels :DDDDDD
oh! and we did an express mani for like $4, haven't gone for a mani in like.. ages man
XOXO 1:05 AM
Sunday, December 19, 2010
someeetimes, i kinda regret DSAing into NY :/ like now. cuz well.... don't feel like i really can click with people there? rather have gone to ac or sa or sr mebbe :p dunno why jozz and han keeps telling me i shld have gone to their school??! :|
but ayaa as much as NY is crazy ass boring. boring might be good.
boring = less temptations like clubbing partying etc unlike other schools.
so yeah.
plus choir is not bad here in NY. and i've got a few close friends in class? :) thats okay for me :)
plus NY is so near hehe.
oh but one thing... NY made me a DAMN BORING PERSON OMG!!
kk. shower. bb.
XOXO 3:24 AM
had a great time at G's christmas house party! at first kinda awkward but after that it went okay. made a few friends... met Jamie from yz! it was awesome cuz all of us finally had time to catch up on a little bit of our lives.. so long since we did that huh? @ gareth piwei han val ben. (jonus left early)
yeah remember and miss how we used to hang at g's place in his room!! so fun la. miss those times.
k so val and i took a cab home cuz it was way past midnight (thank God for serangooners) we hailed one while on our way out of his estate. so we opened the cab door and the cabbie stared at us for a long time and for a second we both thought the other was a ghost!! it was quite funny haha!!
home now. great. haven't done work. and i've got alot of feedback through the night to start exercising and stop eating so much. my fats are showing.
i need a weighing scale to scare myself. (hint: christmas gift hahaha i want a pretty one!!)
kidding. ya relax guys im gonna aim to :))) lose weight now now now
having a bad nose!! gonna have a hot shower and sleep.
church at 11 tmr, if anything miraculous happens i want to try to wake up early and go for a run before going for svc.
hahahahahaha. no joke. ill try.
ps: totally owned my "curfew" (usually after 1 my mom starts to call and stuff) today but mom was already asleep! :p
XOXO 3:10 AM
Friday, December 17, 2010
i miss vienna and czech.
and i miss camp.. yeah. i think for the past 3 days i've been so used to being around so many people the entire day, and then i stayed home today (attempted to study) and i felt so lonely!!!!!!
anw. im gonna read alkanes notes and try to finish up 1 chem paper (i skipped so many qns)
lunch with jozzie tmr @ broaster's.
studying after.. got ray's magical math answers to refer to if i'm lost!! woohoo!
oh. ray left for HK in the wee hours today :( miss her :( haven't been hanging out or seeing much of her..
can't believe sch is starting in less than a month EEW!!! EW TTM
spoke to germ for abit just now. meeting her for lunch on sat. havent seen her in ages!
all my friends like so MIA now :( :( :( really sad :( :( dunno where they all gone
and!! i miss A4!
sianz.
XOXO 2:12 AM
Thursday, December 16, 2010
A big part of God's work in your life, He does IN you.
XOXO 6:46 PM
ben the phailz
GL & AGL of A4 woohoo hehe jeremiah so cute la, initially i kept disturbing him about charlotte also, then realised charlotte is a year older than him O.O hahahah
spent the last 3 days with these kids- they're such a cute bunch :)
omg!! one more thing.
i feel like i've grown closer to the worship team.. well also because of serving quite a bit before camp, and also through camp, plus jams and all. and then today during the last night svc at praise&worship the WM took the front altars and jumped and headbanged together it was awesums!!
XOXO 3:19 AM
back from camp, guys. God has been good.
1) when i was told to be GL and lead a group for definytion, honestly i was like "huh!!" apprehensive and stuff. cuz i kinda felt inadequate, like i'm not even a commissioned SP and passed interview like maybe 1+ months ago only... but then it was awesome cuz i realised. that. God. wants. me. to lead. a group of 12 of His people. and grow in this aspect of serving Him.. of leading. and focus my purpose on Him. instead of leading orientation in school. which will be kinda... not really purposeful la i would say. so when i realised this, i went like :O wow God,.. Your plan is so. crazily intricate you know? and then i realised also that... the whole point was to grow through leading, not be at a certain level to be able to lead i guess? and through God i am made adequate just when i learn to trust that He will be with me and provide whatever i need and am lacking. and He did. He did.
2) i have never facilitated GD or anything before. so. yes. but it has been fine. i really hope that through our GD's, my group has learned.. and taken back something.. and reflected.. and prompted to go think deeper. >.<
3) i have never slept in so many services, worship and workshops before. its the kind of sleepiness that you cannot control. i say it again. ITS UNCONTROLLABLE! everytime before svc and during svc my most constant silent prayer in my heart is "God please i don't want to sleep again pls pls pls take away every bit of tiredness in me for I know You renew the strength of the weary!!" hehe. ooh and i slept in the movie also (abit) but rachel kept poking me awake. lucky! if not i cannot facilitate GD hehe.
4) one of the biggest revelations i had during camp. GOD WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO FAIL. SIMPLY. BECAUSE. HE HAS SAID THAT HE WANTS TO GIVE US LIFE TO THE FULL, ABUNDANT LIFE. AND SIMPLY BECAUSE IN HIS PLAN FOR US, HE HAS PLANNED FOR US TO PROSPER AND NOT FAIL. AND BECAUSE OF THAT. HE WILL NOT ALLOW US TO FAIL. and THATS WHY HE AS GIVEN EACH OF US THE ABILITY TO FULFILL HIS PLAN FOR OUR LIVES! (our talents etc. )which was very powerful for me..
5) a conventional mindset hinders and stifles faith! for example. the story about the disciples stuck in a storm in the sea and only Peter threw away their conventional mindset and technical know-how to get out of the boat (comfort zone) to obey Jesus when He asked them to get out and walk on water. which required a humongous step of faith. and then Peter had a breakthrough and was the first man ever recorded in history to walk on water.. but all this because He had obeyed God.
also. if you think about it now. masses of teens across the world smoke, get drunk, take drugs, have flings like its nothing, smoke, etc. it has become the convention of the world? and we are the minority who are not succumbing to it, for we know that these things cause harm to our bodies.. etc. cause hurt. consequences. and see beyond what it is. and how the world perceives them to be. like they could be an outlet, to fit in, etc. and we don't need that cuz of our worth in Christ. yeah u get my drift.
6) things that are permissible are not necessarily beneficial to me. and will these things master over me?
7) God knows the best for me and for the people around me. so when He speaks to me to do something, no matter how ridiculous, how senseless it might seem, how impossible, it is for a purpose. its part of His plan. though we may not be able to understand it now and can only see it in parts, but eventually these little parts of His plan come together in a beautiful time and we will see the full picture, and then we will be fully known. we will fully understand. and we will finally understand why God prompted us to talk to the lady on the street, or to a neighbour etc.
just some key stuff that had impacted me most during definYtion and decided to pen it down for myself so i can come back and read it and not forget it or anything. good stuff.
(sparkling water!)
